stupid blogspot...

It aint fun beeing blind

Right now, I am in a very surreal mood. Wondering if what she said was true; the one thing(personne) Ive always wanted was right infront of me waiting I guess, and I fucked it
up, I didnt realize it and this morning I woke up first thing that came out of my mouth"I fucked up...". I was such an idiot... I was always refusing her offers to hang out and do stuff,
 mostly because I was 
afraid to get hurt again. Everytime I saw her I became infatuated
 everytime and remembered the 
times we went threw like a war veteran reminicing about his past. Sure alot of it wasnt great but
 I remember the good more than the bad. I always wished for a chance but when I got it
 i was too blind to realize it.Maybe theres still hope, who knows, All I can do is hope,A
nd hope nott fuck it up again. On a lighter note Yc is in 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
! Anyways im gonna go back to reminicing ,mayube watch a walk to remember
or something


Later,


Hyacinthe

I love...

I havent updated in an ETERNITY so i figure what the hell i got a few free minutes might as well update everyone on how my life is going. All in all its going good, work is cool home is good im starting to get out of the house more, which is also good:P i can bike to school in august I have my car in May is YC 2007 which is always fun. I'm in love with the idea of being in love and theres this girl, well there is always a girl in my life but I really like this one, me being myself burried myself before i was dead telling myself I had no chance. I wish I did she is really beautiful and what I know about her so far I really like, Im realy confused aboutt he whole god thing right now but it will blow over.

Wal-Mart

I remember a few weeks ago when i wanted to be a game designer but all my dreams seem to drift away in statique recently. I dont want to be working at walmart all my lfe, in fact i dont even wanna have one of those crumby 5 year badges I want to do something with my life but for some unknown reason I just cant, its like I know im doing stuff wrong and I know that im wasting away my life but I dont have the motivation to do it. Theres nothing I would enjoy more than being able to attribute my name to a video game but I am just so confused and do not know where to start. I guess ive been bringing my grades up but I wonder if its enough."Theres no easy way out, theres not shortcut home" Im used to having everything easy but I need to get my priorites settled. Still with the girl troubles "sigh" anyways see ya later

Feel the rain on your skin,No one else can feel it for you

I love Natasha BeddingFeild and I cant wait to see that movie... with mandy moore I think its called Because I said So... Ah me and My ChickFlicks... Im writting a romantic short story but yeah its not coming along too well... Valentines day is coming up along with easter WOOT comercialized holidays created by WalMart to sell worthless crap that the kids will enjoy for around a day in a half... My view on valentines day however is that you should need a speacial day to show someone you love them, It should be everyday, AND COMEON PEOPLE ANNEVERSARIES!!!!!!! Although I wouldnt know why peole do valnetines day, never had anyone to compell me to do something... ANyways im Out Laer

Sorry Guys

Hey, havent posted in a while have I sorry about that, Ive just been busy with work and school ect... Right now everything is just so bleh. Haha you know the typical teenage stuff dont really feel like I know myself. Ive really been reading up on game designers and daily check up on David Jaffe's blog Love the way even though he is a celbrity he still somewhat includes us in his life. Plus wahtever you read off of it is " Right out of the Horses Mouth" ( he is a game designer and has worked on many many great games) Not as full of himself as Cliffy B seems to be haha. Im really suprsied I dont get as much time with my PS3 as id like, Kinda feel like im neglecting it. We also got a BRAND NEW BLENDER!!! it actually cruishes ice this one it does... I feel like about to pass out on the keyboard... Im kind f wondering where im going with my life. I definatly wanna do something in thge video game industry but what I dont know. I dont have any programing skills or very good grades for that matter. I guess I have to establish my priorities. Im kinda on a downer because I dont know it seems watever job i get it doesnt matter because ill jus be contributing to killing the planet slowly I know this will be the nerdiest thing ever but I wish Cloud Strife could come allong and save the planet except without blowing up the mako reactors and the Ultima weapon... If anyone actually reads this and for that matter if anyone has a PS3 add me username is Laquer... Sometimes I wonder if the only thing I can do is hide from the fear thats deep inside me, just pre-occupations like dying alone, never having kids, not being succesful just a load of crap. I know i know money doesnt buy hapiness but I want to leave some way shape or form of mark. I like to think of myself as a pretty sensitive guy wich is probably why so much people think im gay (im not), I dont know its like impossible to find a girl who likes a sensitive guy who will trea her right, well it feels like it for me atleast. I mean its kinda weird im the kind of gy you could share a box of kleenex with while watching a walk to remember or the notebook and afterwards PWN a bunch of NWBS at Resistance or Call of duty 3. Weird isnt it? I feel as though im watching my dreams on TV and its slowly turning to static...

PRT. 1

Alright today I was bored on company time :p so i decided to start doodling p a really powerful and moving picture of how i feel right now, I wound up with 2 hours flushed by with a small dot in the middle of PHOTOSHOP. Times like those i wish I were alittle more artistic. On the upside the dot was powerful and moving and the significance of wich had phenomenal proportions. Wow I got bored halfway threw writting this PART 2 TOMMOROW!

Pink-Frog( dont read this)

The worst is the waiting, In this world im Suffocating, I feel your prescence filling up my lungs with oxygen... Well I have something to blog about for once, but the one I know will read this is the one that I dont want them to see. Well I thought I was over something that was going on in my life, it turns out that I was wrong. People have been telling me that
if you look for something you wont find it, Its funny because I was not looking for this and I definetly did not want this to happen. You see she has a boyfreind and as much as I hate to say it hes not a bad boyfreind. Wich for me is bad and good at the same time. On one hand she is happy, on the other im not. I need to learn to let go I guess but going to the same school and all well it tends to complicate things. Another thing I dont ike is knowing that even if they do break up its gonna be a while before she gets into another relationship, and in a year and a half she will no doubt go to university leaving us behind because on a weekly basis I get told how bad cold lake is... Wich also means that if they do end I still do not have a chance... Im wondering to myself if ill ever have a chance, Shes the greatest and meens alot to me and right now i just dont know what to do... Anyways i work today 11-7 this is gonna bug me all day...

MY LUNCHTIME DELIMA!!!

Well I am having some troubles getting a name for this Blog entry, Hopefully one will come by the end... Anyways I hate my school not the teachers or the people its just so damn small I am in a class of 7, 5 of those being guys fun ey? I dont like anyone right now wich is unusal because I usally always like 1-2 girls. I am begining to loose hope seing as though im the only single one in my class, Oh well one will come along... Soon I hope, I have a basketball game thursday against the best team in the league. W ehave had 1 practise wich was yesterday and no games. Lets jus say i do not like where this is going...I completely suck but I jus like being there and participating, you never know maybe we got another underdog story, I wouldnt be on our team winning though Ive barely had time to play my PS3 between MSN work and School, im getting pretty hungry dont know what im gonna make myself,Something with cheese though, Mayb get some PS3 time in when Cash Guns Caos finishes downloading,Maybe do some reading build something out of clay putty hell i dont know what you intelectuals do when your bored:P there we go the name problem is solved. I also watched house yesterday IT WAS AWESOME HES NOT GOING TO JAIL WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Well i always knew he wasnt going to jail deep down, And wats with Cameron and house oooo im so excited for next week

Anyways time for lunch later

A New Year

Well, now that were in 07' im excited about alot, mostly Febuary and March for all the great PS3 titles that will be released, and July 27 2007 when i get my License so I can drive my car. Of course im gonna start saving up for Car now so excited. Its between a Chevrolet Cavalier or a Honda Civic both are Compacts that ill be able to pump up and they are cheap too. Im hopefully going to Montreal when I graduate in an attempt to get a job as a game designer with Ubisoft or Activision, I have a few backup-plans tho. Mostly go work for SCEA because i love video games and I have alot of neat ideas but I have no talent watsoever in programing or anything of the likes. Alot of people would think im crazy for leaving Alberta to go to a Place with such a bad economic status. Another thing I would like is give movie directing a try, but all of those things are because I see things in my head and tell myself" wow that would be so cool in a game/movie" Who knows maybe ill make a movie game HAHA jk... There not all bad, Kong was good