stupid blogspot...

It aint fun beeing blind

Right now, I am in a very surreal mood. Wondering if what she said was true; the one thing(personne) Ive always wanted was right infront of me waiting I guess, and I fucked it
up, I didnt realize it and this morning I woke up first thing that came out of my mouth"I fucked up...". I was such an idiot... I was always refusing her offers to hang out and do stuff,
 mostly because I was 
afraid to get hurt again. Everytime I saw her I became infatuated
 everytime and remembered the 
times we went threw like a war veteran reminicing about his past. Sure alot of it wasnt great but
 I remember the good more than the bad. I always wished for a chance but when I got it
 i was too blind to realize it.Maybe theres still hope, who knows, All I can do is hope,A
nd hope nott fuck it up again. On a lighter note Yc is in 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
! Anyways im gonna go back to reminicing ,mayube watch a walk to remember
or something


Later,


Hyacinthe

I love...

I havent updated in an ETERNITY so i figure what the hell i got a few free minutes might as well update everyone on how my life is going. All in all its going good, work is cool home is good im starting to get out of the house more, which is also good:P i can bike to school in august I have my car in May is YC 2007 which is always fun. I'm in love with the idea of being in love and theres this girl, well there is always a girl in my life but I really like this one, me being myself burried myself before i was dead telling myself I had no chance. I wish I did she is really beautiful and what I know about her so far I really like, Im realy confused aboutt he whole god thing right now but it will blow over.

Wal-Mart

I remember a few weeks ago when i wanted to be a game designer but all my dreams seem to drift away in statique recently. I dont want to be working at walmart all my lfe, in fact i dont even wanna have one of those crumby 5 year badges I want to do something with my life but for some unknown reason I just cant, its like I know im doing stuff wrong and I know that im wasting away my life but I dont have the motivation to do it. Theres nothing I would enjoy more than being able to attribute my name to a video game but I am just so confused and do not know where to start. I guess ive been bringing my grades up but I wonder if its enough."Theres no easy way out, theres not shortcut home" Im used to having everything easy but I need to get my priorites settled. Still with the girl troubles "sigh" anyways see ya later

Feel the rain on your skin,No one else can feel it for you

I love Natasha BeddingFeild and I cant wait to see that movie... with mandy moore I think its called Because I said So... Ah me and My ChickFlicks... Im writting a romantic short story but yeah its not coming along too well... Valentines day is coming up along with easter WOOT comercialized holidays created by WalMart to sell worthless crap that the kids will enjoy for around a day in a half... My view on valentines day however is that you should need a speacial day to show someone you love them, It should be everyday, AND COMEON PEOPLE ANNEVERSARIES!!!!!!! Although I wouldnt know why peole do valnetines day, never had anyone to compell me to do something... ANyways im Out Laer

Sorry Guys

Hey, havent posted in a while have I sorry about that, Ive just been busy with work and school ect... Right now everything is just so bleh. Haha you know the typical teenage stuff dont really feel like I know myself. Ive really been reading up on game designers and daily check up on David Jaffe's blog Love the way even though he is a celbrity he still somewhat includes us in his life. Plus wahtever you read off of it is " Right out of the Horses Mouth" ( he is a game designer and has worked on many many great games) Not as full of himself as Cliffy B seems to be haha. Im really suprsied I dont get as much time with my PS3 as id like, Kinda feel like im neglecting it. We also got a BRAND NEW BLENDER!!! it actually cruishes ice this one it does... I feel like about to pass out on the keyboard... Im kind f wondering where im going with my life. I definatly wanna do something in thge video game industry but what I dont know. I dont have any programing skills or very good grades for that matter. I guess I have to establish my priorities. Im kinda on a downer because I dont know it seems watever job i get it doesnt matter because ill jus be contributing to killing the planet slowly I know this will be the nerdiest thing ever but I wish Cloud Strife could come allong and save the planet except without blowing up the mako reactors and the Ultima weapon... If anyone actually reads this and for that matter if anyone has a PS3 add me username is Laquer... Sometimes I wonder if the only thing I can do is hide from the fear thats deep inside me, just pre-occupations like dying alone, never having kids, not being succesful just a load of crap. I know i know money doesnt buy hapiness but I want to leave some way shape or form of mark. I like to think of myself as a pretty sensitive guy wich is probably why so much people think im gay (im not), I dont know its like impossible to find a girl who likes a sensitive guy who will trea her right, well it feels like it for me atleast. I mean its kinda weird im the kind of gy you could share a box of kleenex with while watching a walk to remember or the notebook and afterwards PWN a bunch of NWBS at Resistance or Call of duty 3. Weird isnt it? I feel as though im watching my dreams on TV and its slowly turning to static...

PRT. 1

Alright today I was bored on company time :p so i decided to start doodling p a really powerful and moving picture of how i feel right now, I wound up with 2 hours flushed by with a small dot in the middle of PHOTOSHOP. Times like those i wish I were alittle more artistic. On the upside the dot was powerful and moving and the significance of wich had phenomenal proportions. Wow I got bored halfway threw writting this PART 2 TOMMOROW!