Sorry Guys

Hey, havent posted in a while have I sorry about that, Ive just been busy with work and school ect... Right now everything is just so bleh. Haha you know the typical teenage stuff dont really feel like I know myself. Ive really been reading up on game designers and daily check up on David Jaffe's blog Love the way even though he is a celbrity he still somewhat includes us in his life. Plus wahtever you read off of it is " Right out of the Horses Mouth" ( he is a game designer and has worked on many many great games) Not as full of himself as Cliffy B seems to be haha. Im really suprsied I dont get as much time with my PS3 as id like, Kinda feel like im neglecting it. We also got a BRAND NEW BLENDER!!! it actually cruishes ice this one it does... I feel like about to pass out on the keyboard... Im kind f wondering where im going with my life. I definatly wanna do something in thge video game industry but what I dont know. I dont have any programing skills or very good grades for that matter. I guess I have to establish my priorities. Im kinda on a downer because I dont know it seems watever job i get it doesnt matter because ill jus be contributing to killing the planet slowly I know this will be the nerdiest thing ever but I wish Cloud Strife could come allong and save the planet except without blowing up the mako reactors and the Ultima weapon... If anyone actually reads this and for that matter if anyone has a PS3 add me username is Laquer... Sometimes I wonder if the only thing I can do is hide from the fear thats deep inside me, just pre-occupations like dying alone, never having kids, not being succesful just a load of crap. I know i know money doesnt buy hapiness but I want to leave some way shape or form of mark. I like to think of myself as a pretty sensitive guy wich is probably why so much people think im gay (im not), I dont know its like impossible to find a girl who likes a sensitive guy who will trea her right, well it feels like it for me atleast. I mean its kinda weird im the kind of gy you could share a box of kleenex with while watching a walk to remember or the notebook and afterwards PWN a bunch of NWBS at Resistance or Call of duty 3. Weird isnt it? I feel as though im watching my dreams on TV and its slowly turning to static...